tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:00:15 +0000All bourbon can be whiskey, but not all whiskey can be bourbon.http://www.bourbonrocks.com/noreply@blogger.com (me)Blogger755125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-3296709253417368259Fri, 30 Apr 2010 18:43:00 +00002010-04-30T13:00:15.804-07:00She's the chef, but I don't really know her. I see her, oh, maybe once a week and I could bet she doesn't know my last name. Let's get this out of the way: she's a lesbian. The kind of lesbian that makes you think she's gay before she opens her mouth or mentions a girlfriend. That whole girlfriend thing doesn't really even work, because lots of straight women refer to their female friends as http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#3296709253417368259noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-993940230870827575Thu, 29 Apr 2010 20:06:00 +00002010-04-29T17:53:06.431-07:00There's a Cinco de Mayo 5 & 10k in Irvine this Sunday, which is the ugly second cousin twice removed to the OC Marathon. I'm not drugged up enough to run 26 plus miles, so I chose to participate in the former. I will still get the pleasure of countless road closures, which I faced for the first time last year.Looking at the map, I have no idea how I'm going to get to the kennel. I figured I'd http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#993940230870827575noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-3349178818327746254Tue, 27 Apr 2010 20:21:00 +00002010-04-27T13:23:31.424-07:00Black pants with navy blue undergarments somehow didn't catch my attention when I was getting dressed.I think everyone knows.http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#3349178818327746254noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-3804980302904892676Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:04:00 +00002010-04-26T12:49:49.952-07:00NPR ran a story about a woman who practices a different kind of parenting style: she must teach her daughter, who has Williams syndrome, that people are inherently bad and not to be trusted. I have never wanted to be a mother, but that's a style of parenting in which I could truly excel.http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#3804980302904892676noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-4771501152026891784Sat, 24 Apr 2010 20:33:00 +00002010-04-24T13:40:14.576-07:00They should sentence sex offenders to drive the 5 south, merging onto the 55 west, on a Saturday afternoon.Don't worry- I've been at a complete stop for what feels like years.http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#4771501152026891784noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-6596918530701888153Fri, 23 Apr 2010 21:26:00 +00002010-04-23T17:05:29.953-07:00He was always at the kennel when everyone else left for adoption events, so I finally asked."I don't think they've taken him to an event for two years, because he's a maniac around that many dogs."I know he can be dog aggressive, but he's had a rough go of it and lived in a run- by himself- for three years, so that makes sense. He's so great with me and people, in general, I thought maybe it http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#6596918530701888153noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-5756673661087494598Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:33:00 +00002010-04-22T09:33:01.121-07:00To give you a better idea of how tiny she is, that ghost toy (hey, it was a freebie from Centinela) is about 6" long and, yes, she was recently spayed.I haven't had her for that long, but damn if I don't want to keep her. She's got to be the friendliest kitten I've ever met (true, I've met approximately five) who wants nothing more than to sleep on some part of you. When I get home and bend http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#5756673661087494598noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-6121927391855519059Wed, 21 Apr 2010 17:45:00 +00002010-04-21T13:22:40.356-07:00I was driving into the Place-That-Serves-Brown-Rice-Chicken-Bowls parking lot and noticed a young (early twenties?) couple. They made you look twice, but I honestly couldn't tell if they were getting touchy-feely or what. As I got closer, I could see that he was dragging her by her hair, her bent over trying to pull back, as he was throwing uppercuts about her face. It looked something like http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#6121927391855519059noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-1170913691387987573Tue, 20 Apr 2010 14:20:00 +00002010-04-20T13:30:41.907-07:00I thought my upstairs/stripper neighbor was packing and had dropped a box, but there was a small earthquake in OC last night. She mentioned money was really tight and that she might have to move (it's sad when the economy is such that going to strip clubs gets cut out of the families' agenda), so that's my go-to thought. Why did I ruin it by jumping online this morning? One can dream. Now I'm http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#1170913691387987573noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-227352893911039255Fri, 16 Apr 2010 08:42:00 +00002010-04-16T01:44:33.010-07:00Finished around 11:30. Actually, finished around 6, but was trying to delay the inevitable.Now? Wine!http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#227352893911039255noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-6715596182825830921Wed, 14 Apr 2010 19:30:00 +00002010-04-14T12:37:34.921-07:00My accountant is a moron and, since I didn't want to file an extension, I decided to ditch him and use the fancy edition of Turbo Tax, instead. I also have my old taxes, so I can follow what he did, which doesn't give me much comfort. It looks like he missed a few deductions or I'm taking a few liberties. I can't be sure, because he's differently abled in the head.This whole process is http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#6715596182825830921noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-3640193068922380323Tue, 13 Apr 2010 21:52:00 +00002010-04-14T12:27:27.728-07:00I donated as "anonymous."The initial goal was met, but this is expensive and they're going to need more help to keep up with the treatments. I don't understand why people put button up shirts on cats, but I truly don't understand how you could live in the house knowing your dog is dying out back.  http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#3640193068922380323noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-6687655247024050179Mon, 12 Apr 2010 20:03:00 +00002010-04-13T15:00:22.315-07:00http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#6687655247024050179noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-3949255339024945817Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:20:00 +00002010-04-09T11:22:41.072-07:00No boyfriend has ever given me a new car, but I'm cute enough to get free plastic bags at CVS.http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#3949255339024945817noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-8673131651800695245Wed, 07 Apr 2010 19:59:00 +00002010-04-07T13:16:01.994-07:00When I'm not home, she's still on lock down in the washroom. Oh, she's great, but it's The Kitten who can't be trusted. He, as it turns out, is a giant p*ssy who gets spooked over the smallest gestures. I don't want to come home to find someone wearing a sling made out of shredded toilet paper, so they're only together (at the moment) when I'm there. And by together I mean in the same room, http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#8673131651800695245noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-5701629691222125364Mon, 05 Apr 2010 18:15:00 +00002010-04-05T11:48:45.352-07:00I was standing outside in Newport Beach when my friend jumped out of his chair and asked, "do you feel that?" It wasn't herky-jerky, but a nice, mellow rolling quake. It was like standing on a (really) long board in a kiddie wave pool, with the waves being perfectly consistent. Then the bigger rolling started and I wondered what piece of furniture The Kitten must be hiding under and if Foster http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#5701629691222125364noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-6786664404937460674Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:17:00 +00002010-03-29T17:40:24.344-07:00She's a kitten who had kittens. She was picked up off the streets, so I'll withhold judgment, because I don't know what she had to do in order to survive. Her teeny little body takes up half the space of The Kitten's, but her nipples are gigantic. They are super saggy and are bigger than her teeny kitten feet. If that's not going to convince you to avoid teenage pregnancy, I don't know what http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#6786664404937460674noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-7923297824120809466Sun, 28 Mar 2010 06:59:00 +00002010-03-27T23:59:00.185-07:00Twenty years ago, I thought my boobs would be bigger by now.http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#7923297824120809466noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-6286363705599822457Fri, 26 Mar 2010 21:40:00 +00002010-03-26T15:38:23.648-07:00The Kitten has the energy of twelve goats (two of which are meth addicts). He's eleven months old and I was hoping he'd have calmed down a bit by now.He hasn't.Everyone has given me the same advise: get another cat. I really don't want another cat, I just want The Kitten to stop climbing my palm trees, jumping on the counters, opening cabinets and shredding all of the toilet paper, as well as http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#6286363705599822457noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-1195123460768029731Thu, 25 Mar 2010 21:54:00 +00002010-03-25T15:01:58.847-07:00There was a discussion regarding the amount of appropriate touching and physical distance between a married woman and a single man. In my defense of the married woman, I mentioned that I, too, am guilty of getting touchy-feely with my gay friends, as there's no sexual consequence to any overtly grabby action. Her: He's not gay, he's bi.Me: He told you that?Her: No, but it's obvious.Me: You http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#1195123460768029731noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-1029766753569739042Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:31:00 +00002010-03-24T12:31:23.606-07:00"Alcoholic? Dont despair - ViaGrow will have you fully energized and pumping that [meat puppet] in a flash....."http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#1029766753569739042noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-7603552374956944224Tue, 23 Mar 2010 18:12:00 +00002010-03-23T11:24:21.273-07:00There's a girl from Jalisco (xaˈlisko) who says she lives in "Johr-ba-leeeendah." That's Yorba Linda to you and me. Yesterday, she sent me an e-mail regarding a package delivery and (making it super agreeable?) threw in a "jajajajaja!""I know what happen was that we got so many packages today and [Stupid White Man] used our system and I guess he got a little be confused with the senders any http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#7603552374956944224noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-4834678132242864746Thu, 18 Mar 2010 00:04:00 +00002010-03-24T12:29:32.566-07:00This photo was taken from a very safe/wussy distance and from inside my car. Cell phones have come a long way, but not far enough (i.e. no telephoto lens):The shirt is a white, button-up, frilly-in-the-front type short-sleeve shirt. The shorts are high-waisted khakis, decorated with a big, black belt. Then there are the socks. Oh, the socks. She is wearing LONG socks and black heels. I http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#4834678132242864746noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-8451310933512334769Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:09:00 +00002010-03-23T20:40:25.109-07:00Chase is the sweetest dog you'll ever meet. He's a mixed-mixity-mix, but I'm sure there's some German Sheppard and Pit in there somewhere. A rescue group pulled him from the shelter and he's now living in a boarding facility until he can find a permanent or foster home. I walk him in the mornings and, after being smothered in kisses, we're off:Did I mention he's got three legs? He has three http://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#8451310933512334769noreply@blogger.com (me)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7181146.post-2143944508398395643Wed, 10 Mar 2010 23:18:00 +00002010-03-10T16:02:25.854-08:00A friend and I started the Insanity workout a week ago today. I am not a fan of workout DVDs or any type of do-it-at-home workout. I love kickboxing, but can't stand that Olivia Newton John-no-bags-punch-the-air-jazzercise type class posing as kickboxing, which seems to cover 70% of the DVD market. I only said I'd do this Insanity thing because I've been slacking and have a race the first weekhttp://www.bourbonrocks.com/2010_03_01_archive.html#2143944508398395643noreply@blogger.com (me)